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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the safe haven in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful regarding memorable lavatory incidents and milestones, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to discover that a prominent writer a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat by Fleetwood. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his cap,” stated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to access the restrooms back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting where the toilets were, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “Subsequently he wandered round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach post a quick discussion within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies tried desperately to rescue the scenario.

“Where on earth could we find for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past happened in the old toilets of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, eventually revealing he viewed his period as Three Lions boss “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's a tremendously tough role.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, while a German now sits in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

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Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were Europe’s best referees, top sportspeople, examples, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with strong principles … however all remained silent. We scarcely made eye contact, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and distributed some merchandise, I've opted to write and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the school playground with kids he knew would beat him up. This masochistic tendency must account for his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|