Former English leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the illness.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to completely absorb that at the present time," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's going. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his immediate health, his family and making preparations for when the condition progresses.
"Possibly that's surprise or perhaps I handle situations in another way, and after I have the information, it's more manageable," he continued.
First Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some weakness in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the condition, a series of scans showed nerves in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're rightly extremely moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't feel sick
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I'm still competent to doing all activities. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Condition Progression
MND can progress rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the illness claims a 33% of people within a twelve months and above half within two years of identification, as ingestion and breathing become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only slow decline.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," added an affected Moody.
"There's grief around having to inform my mum - as an only child - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Effect
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he mentioned informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and began cleaning the drops off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody stated the priority was being in the present.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be very intensely concentrated on just accepting and enjoying each moment now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been truly blessed that the primary choice I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as possible. We don't get those periods back."
Athlete Link
Professional competitors are unevenly influenced by MND, with investigations suggesting the rate of the illness is up to six times greater than in the wider community.
It is considered that by reducing the air available and creating harm to motor neurone cells, frequent, vigorous training can trigger the condition in those previously genetically susceptible.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his brave, relentless method to the game.
He played through a fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a practice gear and began throwing himself into physical contacts.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the throw-in in the decisive phase of play, setting a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop kick.
Support Community
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who led England to that victory, and a few other former players about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that kind of love and acceptance that people are available is the crucial thing," he commented.
"Rugby is such a great community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even when it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"Being able to label your love your vocation, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a time with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will desire to support in every way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
